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IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH….”I WILL!”

DSC_0693During a marriage ceremony, couples perform three primary acts: verbally pledge their love and support before God through the reciting of the wedding vows, promise their fidelity to each other by the exchanging of the rings and seal the deal with a kiss.  On this happiest of days, most couples are more concerned about not forgetting the words to the vows they have to repeat than the responsibility behind what they are promising.

Over thirty-eight years ago, I declared the following words to my best friend: “For better or for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part.”  As I looked into my brides beautiful blue eyes, moist with tears of joy, all I could envision for us was the better, the richer and in health words and for good reason.  The best of “the better” occurred a few years into our marriage.  We accepted God’s gift of salvation and became “born again” on our pastor’s living room couch.  We have never been materially rich but we are blessed with our family in which we are rich beyond our wildest dreams.

No marriage though is spared from hardship.  In November of 1990 seven feet of water rushed through our neighborhood.  We lost everything in our home that day, including the use of our home for thirteen months.  That was hard but we trusted God and with the help of our church family we rebuilt and pulled through.

The biggest test of our marriage began when Karen became very sick and was diagnosed with mercury poisoning at the age of thirty-five.   We went to Colorado to a specialist.  She had all her molars removed and underwent extensive detoxification to remove the mercury from her body.  This took care of the poisoning but, because she was allergic to most dental materials, she had to settle for partials made out of a plastic.  These broke down frequently and never allowed her to maintain a good “bite”.  Over time she developed TMJ, cervical dystonia (a movement disorder in which a person’s muscles contract uncontrollably) and arthritis of the vertebrae in her neck.

This brings me back to my wedding vows.  “For better or for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part.”  I’m not going to speak for any man other than for myself.  Living with a spouse in chronic pain is not easy. Saying our wedding vows before God doesn’t guarantee an easy life; they are a promise to commit ourselves to authentic love.  1 Corinthians 13 describes this tangible love this way: “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs….It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

I am far from a perfect husband but from God’s own words come the target for which I constantly aim for in my relationship with Karen.  So even with my imperfection I will:

  • Be patient when my wife needs me most.
  • Be kind even when kindness may not be returned.
  • Not be envious of couples whose lives are free of chronic pain. (Every marriage goes through times of difficulty in one form or another)
  • Not be easily angered. (One of the shortcomings I’m working on)
  • Not keep record of wrongs whether real or perceived.

Keeping the above vows takes a lot of work on both our parts.  For me, to always protect, hope and persevere does not.  I will always cherish my relationship with my wife because my love for her will never fail.

 

 

Is It Good? No, It’s Great!!

mud puddle girlTerry and I are blessed with nine grandchildren.  Today is our grandson, Caleb’s 9th birthday.  He is the firstborn of five siblings in their family.  There are many things I love about Caleb, but one thing that I especially love is his laughter.  He is also a big tease–like his daddy.  Since they live in Florida and we live in Washington, I cherish the time we have when we get together.  When we are together, they love this AMA to make chocolate milkshakes.  It’s become a tradition.  I ask the boys, if it’s good and usually they say yes, but this one time, Caleb said, “No!” Then he smiled at me and said, “It’s great”!  His youngest brother, Joshie, thought that was pretty fun and said, “ask me, Ama, is it good?” I asked him, and he said “No”!  Then smiled and said, it’s great!”  So now when I am on the telephone with my daughter, Katie, Joshie wants to talk with me every time.  I love it!  I ask him, if he’s good and he says “I’M GREAT!”       I hope you all not just have a good day, but a GREAT DAY!! DSC_0462

COMPROMISE VS HAPPINESS

DSC_0688It’s a fact: Opposites do attract.  My wife and I are living proof of that.

  • Karen loves to talk while I prefer to listen.
  • She wants to take swing dancDSC_0687e lessons.  I’d rather swing a golf club.
  • Sappy romance movies make her cry but I cry from boredom.
  • She craves spontaneity.  I enjoy routine.
  • The outdoors energizes her but it only makes me sneeze.
  • Karen + garage sales = HAPPINESS        
  • Terry  + garage sales = COMPROMISE

Compromise doesn’t have to be a four letter word (actually it’s a 10 letter word).  To make any good relationship work, there has to be give and take.  Finding ways to embrace compromise is the key.  For example:  I love my wife to pieces and enjoy spending time with her but today Karen and I are going to a swap meet in Tulalip.  Now a swap meet is a fancy way of saying a gigantic garage sale.  Does putting gigantic in front of garage sale make it any more palatable to me?  No, not really but you don’t have to endure bee stings to enjoy your honey.

Men are born hunters; even for someone like me who loathes the idea of shooting Bambi’s mother.  Inside of me, and I bet most men, is the ancient instinct to hunt. Instead of blindly following Karen from one house to another, watching her shuffle through other peoples junk, I can turn this mind numbing experience into an adventure.  If I harness this new mindset toward finding one thing in particular, I will transform myself. Instead of being the overweight, khaki wearing husband who sleep walks through a maze of children’s clothes, cassette tapes, worn out furniture and grannies’ knickknacks any husband can turn into Elmer Fudd on steroids, who will not stop hunting until he finds that one-of-a-kind Bugs Bunny stuffed animal his wife can’t live without.  As long as I have a goal in mind, I now enjoy the process of achieving that goal with my best friend.  If I can’t find what I’m looking for, I’m like that fisherman who is skunked one day, goes back to camp, changes his bait and tries a different location the next day.

So make your wife’s life (and yours) a lot happier.  Embrace your differences by being creative in the manner in which you tackle compromise.  Now I have to go.  I’m hunting for a heart shaped vase today.

 

 

Share Your Talents

I am not a professional photographer.  I am someone who loves toDSC_0640 experiment with photography.  Years ago I bought a 35mm SLR camera which came with a telephoto lens and a nifty photography book. My brother is a middle school geometry and algebra teacher; I am not. So when it came time to calculate the mathematics of f/stop aperture numbers, I skipped those pages in the book and concentrated on the chapters focusing on being creative.  I bought a wide variety of filters and had a blast playing mad scientist with all the bells and whistles my old point and shoot camera couldn’t provide.  Learning to look for interesting angles, patterns, symmetry, textures and lines made taking pictures an exercise in artistry and fed my creative nature.

I now own a fancy digital SLR camera (at least it’s fancy to me).  Without having to buy film and pay for developing, playing mad scientist isn’t as expensive.  My theory is if you take enough pictures some are bound to be bad, some will be good enough to display as a rotating collage on my laptop, but a few will take me by surprise and be worthy to display in the arts and crafts exhDSC_0610ibit at our community fair.

The whole point in this article is to look for ways to bless people by sharing your talents with others.  Recently, a niece and nephew each got married.  Of course they hired professional photographers to capture the moments of their magical day.  I brought my camera to each wedding and looked for opportunities to take pictures from angles and locations the professionals missed.  Some pictures I deleted immediately, others I kept on my laptop’s hard drive but a few I felt great about sharing on Facebook.  My relatives loved the variety of pictures and they will be available to them free of charge at any time.

So don’t be afraid to make your gifts and talents available to bless others.  God gave them to you use not to hide under a bushel.DSC_0626DSC_0559DSC_0609

This Ama is being cyberstretched!

Hello Everyone

mud puddle girl

Forgive me if you have received this before.  We think it was lost in cyberspace!  Terry and I are going through the painful process of building Muddy Water Ministries website!  Even though we are very excited to have a website to share, we realize just how much we do not know in the computer world.  So thank you for your patience!!

Last month Terry and I were so  blessed with the arrival of our 9th grandchild, Hannah Joy.  Our daughter, Katie and her husband, Jason live in Florida with their 4 adorable boys.  They asked if I could come out and stay a while to help when Hannah was born.  I was excited to.  Terry travelled with me for the first part of the trip, but then I was privileged to stay a few more weeks.  I had so much fun getting to spend time with them.   Many memories were made.

The boys absolutely adored their new baby sister!  They would actually fight to hold her next.  Joshie, the youngest, proudly let me know that he was no longer the baby.  But when Jason would come home, Joshie would run to his daddy and plead “Hold me bigger, Daddy, hold me bigger.”  He would just melt in his daddy’s arms and he felt loved and secure.

That was such a word picture for me.  There are times in my life, that I need to know that I have a heavenly Father that I can run to and ask Him to hold me bigger, Lord, hold me bigger!

I’m so thankful that the Lord loves us and His promises are true!  Psalm 91:1-2  “He who dwells in the shelter of the most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”

 

Blessings!!!  Until next time…..AMA